The Absence of Despair
by RubyRedSpiderLily
Summary: There is no need to know or understand. Whether you do or don't matters not. You will forever continue to exist. You will forever leave loved ones behind. Forever walk. And forever suffer. First story. Rating may go up in future.
1. PROLOGUE

**Hey guys. This is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me. I've had this idea so a while now. Hope you enjoy!**

_Thoughts_

"Talking"

**Entity**

**Warning: Strong language ahead. **

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

.

.

.

** The world is a cruel place**

.

_N-no! Please don't-!_

_._

**But it's also very beautiful **

.

I_ don't want to die!_

_._

**It's a shame most of us can't see it**

.

_Sorry. It's nothing personal._

_._

**Did I regret what I did?**

.

_*BANG*_

_._

**No, not really**

.

_Oh! I __love__ that look on your face!_

_._

**Would I do it again?**

.

_That DESPAIR!_

_._

**I don't know. Maybe.**

.

_I hate you..._

_._

**But it's not like it matters. Not now.**

.

_Why did this happen?_

_._

**Or maybe it never did.**

.

_I HATE YOU!_

_._

**Even if I didn't do what I did...**

.

_I'LL SHOW YOU! IM STRONG! I DONT __NEED__ YOU!_

_._

**I'd probably still be where I am now.**

.

_I'LL KILL YOU!_

* * *

_Where am I?_

_Darkness. Nothing but darkness._

"H-hey...Is any one here?" I called out. I didn't know what was happening. Where was I? Where was everyone else?

I looked at my surroundings and saw nothing. Just nothing. I shuttered as my body slowly begun to feel fear and my heart begin to pound in my chest. _Fuck man, what is this? _

I mean, you'd freak too if you randomly woke up in some sort of black void.

_This better not be some kind of sick joke._

Of course, who was I to talk.

Here I stood surrounded by nothingness. Just a black space that looks like it could on forever. I tried to calm myself by closing my eyes and take deep breaths. Not that that really works,(for me that is)but I tried it anyways.

'_Come on. You're better than this_,' I told myself.

I continued doing this for a while and finally, my heart begun to slow. Just as I felt myself begin to calm, I heard a low voice.

**Why, hello there.**

"Wha...?"

_Who the hell? _I whipped my head around to look for the source of the voice. But strange enough, couldn't find it. _But it sounded so close..._

**Do not bother trying to look for me. You won't succeed.**

"Who are you?" Fear again, trying to take hold of me. Trying to appear strong, I put my blank face on which was something I learned a long time ago. The voice sounded male, definitely an adult. Sounded middle age. Actually, he sounded like he'd be able to narrate a children's book or something.

I shook my head. Now was not the time for that.

**Yes, introductions seems like a good place to start. I have no name. There is no reason to have one. I am an entity that was once part of the energy that makes up this universe.**

_What? And what the hell is that supposed to mean?_

**It's just as I said, Ms. Joyer.**

I growled. "Don't you _ever_ call me that," I told it. Hold dare he. That was _her_ name. That bitch.

**My apologies then, Ms-**

"Just call me Scarlet." I cut him off. Though Scarlet wasn't my real name, I was quite fond of it.

**Very well, Ms. Scarlet. **Whatever. It was better than _her_ name.

"Anyway, you said you were an entity that's part of the universe, or something..." I drifted off. Like l'd believe Something like that. What bullshit.

**Believe what you will. It is the truth and soon you will be forced to face it. **He said this as if he was trying to explain this to a child.

"Whatever. Where are we?" I just wanted to go home.

**You are in a space that is nowhere and yet everywhere. This place both exists and doesn't. As for going home you cannot. Don't you remember?**

"What do you mean I can't go home?! And stop speaking in fucking riddles!" I demanded. I was seriously getting angry. Just who the hell is this guy?!

**Please calm yourself, we don't have a lot of time. And I've already told you, I'm an entity born from the energy of this universe. Im just telling you what you want to know, Ms. Scarlet, why are you getting upset with me?**

"Tell me what you meant when you said I couldn't go home? Why can't I?" I asked, just barely containing my anger.

**Well, you see...**

Yes?

**You are dead.**

_What...?_

* * *

*_SIZZLE_*

.

*_CRACKLE_*

_._

_Fire..._

_._

_"HAHAHAHAHA! GO AHEAD! SHOOT ME! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN M-!"_

.

*_BANG_*

_._

_Blood..._

_._

_*THUMP*_

_._

_Silence..._

* * *

Oh.

I remember now.

I died.

...

**Ms. Scarlet?**

"...Yes?" I replied in a weak voice.

**Are you feeling alright?**

Bitter. I felt Bitter. And disappointment. _Of course. I've should have seen this coming. This is hell, isn't it? Wow. I actually thought that I could've lived a while longer after that_ _big_ "_event". How foolish of me. Not that I deserved to live longer. _But still...

No, the world doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter if you deserved something or not. It could easily be taken._ If only I had been more _careful_._

**Hell only exist in the mind, Ms. Scarlet. This is not Hell.**

So Hell really doesn't exist?

...?

...!

"Wait," I just realized. "How do you keep doing that?"

**Hm? Doing what?** I heard confusion in his voice.

"Reading my mind. How?!"

**Oh! Well, it's quite simple really. I've attached myself to your subconscious**.

"Wha?! Why?! And who the _fuck_ gave you permission?"

**Please trust me. It's all completely necessary. Actually, we have a bit of time left. Let me tell you what I can from the start. And everything else later.**

Later?

**Please save your questions for the end. Please.**

I paused and nodded. Let's just get this over with. I was eager for answers And if I stayed here any longer, I'd lose my mind.

**Good. Now, if you don't mind. let us begin.**

* * *

**Haha! A Cliffhanger~! I did my best, so please understand that I may or may not get better with time. laters!**


	2. PROLOGUE part 2

**Hey! As you can see, I updated again. That's probably going to happen almost every weekend. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**How about we'll start with what you are. Or will be. **

I nodded uncertain. What was that supposed to mean?

**Alright then.** **When a organism's life finally extinguishes, it goes to neither heaven nor hell. At least not in this world.**

"This world?" I asked confused.

**Did you think this was the only one?**

_Well...not _really_._ I figured if this one existed, why not others? There's still _so_ much us humans don't know.

I remembered back home, I'd watch videos on TV when I wasn't working, or on the internet about different galaxies or theories on worm holes, how much of the universe is out there, and how _little_ we know.

Shouldn't be surprised really.

**Anyway, to put it simply when something dies in this world, nothing happens. They're simply put into eternal rest.** He paused as if he wanted me to confirm if he could continue.

"Go on," I told him.

**But there's a one in five thousand chance of that not happening. Congrats. You're that one out of five thousand.**

_What is that supposed to mean? If I don't sleep eternally, then what will happen? _I was beginning to worry.

**You see, when someone with a strong will and or emotion dies, they...come back in a sense. **He sighed.** This is where things get a little complicated.**

"Explaine," I demanded.

**You evolve.**

"Excuse me?"

**You become something that's not human. Something stronger and smarter. Something ****_different_****.**

"I'm...not getting it." The _fuck_ are you going on about?

**Think of it like this. Many years ago, Humans evolved from apes. This situation is little different.**

"So...what will happen?" I was _so_ confused.

**Y-** He started but suddenly stopped. **Oh.**

Oh?

**My apologies. it appears our time is up.** What? What was that supposed to mean?

"What?! No! I still be more answers!"

**I've said this before, I've attached myself to your subconscious. I'm not going anywhere**.

"Then what-" I started but was interrupted when suddenly a bright light began engulf The black space from beneath me.

"Ah!"

_Darkness..._

* * *

*_SIZZLE_*

.

*_CRACKLE_*

_._

_Fire..._

_._

_"HAHAHAHAHA! GO AHEAD! SHOOT ME! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN M-!"_

.

*_BANG_*

_._

_Blood..._

_._

_*THUMP*_

_._

_Silence..._

_._

_Pathetic..._

* * *

_Hm...ug..._

**Wake up. **That voice.

I turned trying to ignore it.

_Shit!_ My _head. _It felt as if there were a hundred drums playing in my head and all the drummers had hangovers. _Oh God, just kill me now!_ I begged_. And why was it so _cold_?_

**Its time to wake up, Ms. Scarlet**_._

I've got to stop listening to Eagle about late night drinking_. That was one shit storm of a dream._

**You were not dreaming, Ms. Scarlet.**

Nooooo. I _was_ dreaming. Night night.

**I realize that you are tired, but I do not think this is the best place to rest.**

Confused, I slowly cracked open an eye, but quickly close it again. My eyes needed to adjust to the light. Not to mention that _damned_ headache.

**That headache will pass soon. It's just a side effect from the change.**

Change? Does that mean...?

**Yes, you are no longer human. Congratulations.**

I honestly didn't know how I felt about that. This was all happening so fast. But it wasn't like I was leaving anything behind. Well except Eagle, but he'll be fine.

Slowly I opened both eyes.

The first thing I saw was red, brown, gold, orange, and yellow.

_Leaves_. I was surrounded by them.

I slowly stood up; my was headache slowly fading away. I looked At my surroundings.

In every direction I looked, there were trees. I assume from the coloring that it was autumn. Wherever we were. Dead colored leaves fell from the trees littering the ground, as light peeked through the branches of the trees.

"Where are we?" I asked expecting an answer.

**I'm not quite sure myself.**

Well, aren't you helpful?

Hey...Was it me or did Everything seems kinda big?

**Maybe you should take a look at yourself. **The voice in my head oh so helpfully said.

I looked down at myself and almost choked on my spit. "Wha-what?!" I almost yelled.

I looked down at my hands and saw tiny little fingers.

Oh god...

Look at the rest of me and almost screamed. What was _that_ doing there?! And where were my clothes?!

This can't be happening.

Here I stood in a body of a child. But oh no, that wasn't all.

"I'm a boy!" No! No! _No!_ My womanhood was _gone_! How could this have _happened_?

**Do not fret. You must have some sort of defect. A rebirth defect.** His voice sounded slightly amused.

Oh, You think you're so funny?

**My apologies. I'm sure this has happened to others.**

"Wait. By defect, you mean this wasn't supposed to happen?" I asked fearing the answer.

**Well, no. But don't worry. It'll be alright. **He said reassuringly.

"Don't worry? Are you fucking insane!"

**Please calm down, Ms. Scarlet.**

"I am calm! _You_ calm down! First, I die, I wake up in some black space, I pass out, I wake up _again_, and I'm in the body of a child. A male child. A naked male child. In the forest. Yeah, I'll be calm."

**Please, Ms. Scarlett. Yelling won't solve your all your problems.**

I was about ready to pull my hair out when I heard talking from a distance.

Who the hell...?

Curiously and cautiously, I move closer to the source. "People,"I whispered. _Maybe they can help me out. _I thought to myself. I really needed some clothes and maybe some directions. Shelter and food would nice too.

As I moved closer to the source of the voices, I spotted them and quickly hid. I dodged into some random bushes and peeked through them. They were still talking among themselves.

_Looks like they didn't see me._ I thought to myself. Good.

I moved a little closer to get a better look.

_"Ne pel, Nana!"_Yelled a deep voice.

"Ai mo, felis!"Replied an annoyed feminine voice

_"Ahahaha!"_ The third voice laughed.

_What language is this? And were they wearing? _

There were three of them. One of them was a well toned young man with short brown hair. He was wearing dark brown trousers, a white button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, simple brown shoes, and a dark blue scarf with a neat, but unimportant design on it.

The second was a young girl with dirty blond hair that was held into a loose ponytail. She wore a long beige dress, a pink sweater, and plain pink boots.

Finally the third and youngest, who was a young boy that looked maybe 11 or 12? He was wearing an orange shirt, a short light brown jacket, dark brown shorts, and boots.

They were dressed as if they lived in a Village or something.

**Maybe they do. **The entity suggested. I ignored him.

Something else I noticed was that they were all carrying wood on their backs.

**For a fire maybe?**

Oh and they also had a dog.

Speaking of the dog...

**_Bark! Bark!_**

_"Hm? Uo fre, Rover?" _

**Bark! ****_Bark! _**The dog began sprinting towards us.

Fuck it must have smelled me!

**Or maybe your not as quiet as you thought you were?**

Go suck a dick.

_"Rover!"_

**_Bark!_**

_Oh fuck me._

* * *

_**And there it is! Another chapter! Please review!**_


End file.
